A lots been happening the 3 months and while it was not enough to make me ‘not blog’ , I was pretty lazy. The month after the successful Visa Interview(oh damn!) life was moving in a frenzy, I did not feel like I was leaving something behind and I was more excited than feeling bad. After all the blowing money for dresses , suitcases and what not (my mom called it the equivalent of a marriage shopping), I booked the ticket for Aug 7 2008 early morning. Four of us - Renuka, Ajay, Deepak and yours truly were leaving to US of A. Friendship day passed on Aug 3 and I still wasn't feeling bad. My friends thought(I think) I was heartless.
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Never before has so much emotions, feelings hit me at the same time.I hated my intentions , my dreams , my wishes, all - to study in the US. The moment Ajay said those cruel words - "This is it guys" (when the flight left Bangalore) , I knew it was not ever going to be the same, I lost the umbrella and I was totally responsible.
I have to say that if I had come alone, this post would have never materialized because I would have been in India. I would have taken the next flight from Frankfurt to Bangalore and not had a iota of regret about it.
I am not sure if this is a common thing among people or not but I was so surprised at myself for sobbing like a child for the whole Bangalore – Frankfurt flight (here I have to mention Renuka, she was a dear) and I am still not ashamed of it.
After a lot of self consoling that I would go home for every holiday in the US, I reluctantly pushed myself to Clemson.
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Clemson
The first day in US was too hazy to forget.
One of my baggage did not arrive and I was hoping that it was strong reason to go back to India.
Well it did not matter ,it arrived the next morning.
The next week was just about completing formalities and looking for assistantships and jobs.
Futile at both. Homesickness increases. The weather was nothing like the pictures. Homesickness increases.
Life was negative.
Talk about a learning curve.
I was out in the open and no umbrella.
Time moved as on as it always did, met some wonderful professors and found a topic I was interested in .
The sickness slowly started dwindling away. But I still miss home and the food.
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This post might have sounded philosophical and cribby. I am sorry if I bored you more than I could have. I just wanted this off me and I want the umbrella !
